Today women are raised to be independent and to "not rely on a man", to have a career, be self sufficient and do everything for themselves. I've learned through years of being a single mom how to do just that. I quickly realized though the pressure in which men expect this of women to be very high.
God's design for man and woman was for them to "depend" on each other. God's plan as a human race was to depend on each other! God never intended for us to be independent from one another. The truth is he wants us to be first and foremost fully reliant and dependent on Him. He says “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." John 15:5. So what is our role as women in the world today and how can we measure up to society's expectations of us?
1. Be a woman after God's heart. Put Him first in your life above all others. Study Him, pray to Him, worship Him, praise Him. Make Him your all and your everything, make Him the absolute love of your life! His first and greatest commandment to us is this "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind." Matthew 22:37.
2. Forget about society's expectations of you. Don't follow society's way of thinking, society will end your marriage (if you're married) 50% of the time, and will keep you from finding the Godly man He wants for you (if you're single). Follow what God says. Look to His word, The Bible for all of your questions and answers and I promise you will find them. Peer pressure gets us more than we even realize because we become so normalized to the world's views and ways of life and it can get us in a lot of trouble, as God puts it "You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God." James 4:4. This sounds like serious business to me, and I do not want to test my limits on making God my enemy. Society expects a lot of us as women; to be independent, strong willed, self sufficient, a homemaker, the mom that has her kids in 3 different sports and volunteers as the team mom, to be a woman that everybody likes and wants as their friend, to be a good wife and when there are struggles to pretend that there's none and everything is just perfect. We're expected to date men casually and not expect anything more from them, the list of poisonous demands goes on. So fogetta 'bout it! Forget about Society's expectations and focus on what God wants, because when we obey what His expectations are, we receive way more than this world could ever offer us.
3. Be a student of the Lord. What are God's expectation of us? You're probably asking. Well it's all in His word. When I was online dating for about 6 months, I remember reading men's profiles about what they were looking for in a woman. As my profile was set up to only meet men who were believers, most of them said "I'm looking for a Proverbs 31 woman." And went on to describe what that looked like to them. I was always curious how scary it might look to a man if a woman had on her profile "I'm looking for a Jesus Christ." As noble and valiant as it would be to be a proverbs 31 woman, it's nearly just as impossible for a man to fit the definition of who Jesus Christ is. We can only strive to be a Proverbs 31 woman and it is indeed what we should strive for, but to put expectations on yourself as a Christian woman to fit that description in what a man may hope or expect from you is just simply unreasonable. And I would advise you to steer clear of men that place those expectations on women. What God truly wants is for us to Love Him wholeheartedly and go to Him with everything. As it says "Commit thy works unto the LORD, and thy thoughts shall be established." Commit everything to Him. Every decision you make should be brought to Him before you make it! Allow Him to work in you through every thought, plan and desire you have and He will guide your path. God calls us to be still, patient, peaceful and a teacher for other women and for children. As in Titus 2:3-5 "Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored." We are to be an example for other woman as this verse clearly portrays, helping guide and teach them in the Lord's ways.
4. Educate yourself on the way God wants you to be treated. It is so vitally important in today's world to understand how incredibly special you are to our Lord and how much He values you as a woman and desires for you to be valued and cherished by others. He made us incredibly unique! He created man and then creatively decided to bring us into the big picture as a substantial and vital being to man's existence. That is SO powerful! The bible says "For man was not made from woman, but woman from man; for indeed man was not created for the woman's sake, but woman for the man's sake." 1 Corinthians 11:9. We play an extremely valuable role in this world because God made it so. This is how a man is called to sacrificially Love his wife "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the Church, his body, of which he is the savior. Now as the Church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, Love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her to make her Holy and clean, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant Church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but Holy and blameless." Ephesians 5:21-27. I recommend reading the entire passage to gain more understanding in our roles. This is a sacrificial love that a husband is called to exert. And honestly, what woman would not desire to respect and submit to a man that loves her in this way?
5. Strive to be the woman other women aspire to be like and a Godly man would want to spend his life with. If we are living according to society's standards and expectations, we are far less likely to attract Godly friends or Godly men into our lives. God wants us to obey him first and foremost, being a student of His word teaches us how to do that. He wants us to protect ourselves and avoid submitting ourselves to sin. In 2 Timothy he warns us that there will be people today who work their way into our homes and win the confidence of "vulnerable women" who are burdened with the guilt of sin and controlled by various desires. We must not lose hold of God's truth and confidently follow His teaching and not the world's doctrine. He wants us to protect our hearts and our home. "Above everything else guard your heart, because from it flow the springs of life." Proverbs 4:23. God wants us to actively help those in need and not judge others. The Proverbs 31 passage is an excellent passage that gives us a clear image of how God wants us to behave as women. It's our responsibility to seek after His truth and wisdom so we can become more like Him. It's so easy to lose sight of God's truth when the world's truth can be so persuasive and deceiving. We must become wise in our hearts with God's truth to eliminate satan's persuasion. We must uplift and encourage other women, making an active effort to help other women, as well as children in need and learn to Love each other as Christ has loved us.