Hi Ladies! I'm going to share with you some very important signs to look out for as you begin the dating process as a single mom. As survivors of abusive relationships, we tend to naturally gravitate towards abusive men since as humans, we are attracted to familiarity. I name a few of these signs to watch out for in my video, but here are some more to caution yourself...
- A man that's critical of you.. Example: Puts down the way you dress, eat your food, do your hair, wear your make-up, etc..
- Doesn't respect the time you need to give to your children... or yourself.
- A man that tries to dictate your schedule to accommodate him (if you're into him, you will change your own schedule to be with him, he shouldn't have anything to do with it.)
- He gets easily agitated when you don't return his call in a timely manner or text him back right away.
- He wants to move too quickly and puts pressure on you for not "giving it up" or wanting to move as quickly as he does.
- Constantly tells you what his expectations are without being interested in your needs or desires.
- Raises his voice at you or uses profanity towards you.
- He speaks with aggression and hostility about his ex.
If a man is showing these signs from the beginning of a relationship... RUN! Chances are very likely it will only get worse with time and the last thing you want is to live through another abusive relationship. A man that wants to pursue dating you should be patient and respectful of your time with your children and desire to help take pressure off of you versus putting pressure on you. If you share custody with your children's father, think about taking a night to yourself as well. It's really important to get that alone time to recoup and recharge your mind. We really need that in order to make clear decisions in our personal lives, especially after a hectic week with kids. You will be surprised when you first start dating again, how many men you may attract that are very similar to your ex, or to someone that's been abusive to you in your past. It's almost like we have a target on our back. So be very aware of that and don't ignore the signs or try to excuse them. I've struggled with this myself in dating, where I will hold on and hope to see a change. The longer I held on, the harder it was for me to break things off and then I thank God I did when I look back. So don't waste your time in a situation like that when you know in your heart it's not healthy. Staying pure is even more important for us who have been in abusive relationships. We tend to be very sensitive and compassionate women and that's why we tend to tolerate more than most, and when you open that door of intimacy too early, it can be detrimental to our discernment. Protect yourself and protect your heart!
“Above all else, guard your heart, for the springs of life flow from it”
Please comment below with any thoughts or questions...